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Excellence and perfection are not the same things.  Perfectionism is feeling that nothing you do is or over will be good enough to please.  It is often the result of living with parents who were controlling, critical, or set extremely high standards.  Perhaps you grew up in a home with over-demanding parents and, consequently, felt that you never quite measured up to their expectations.  Now, subconsciously as an adult, you are probably desperately trying to win the approval of others by striving to be perfect.  David Seamands, in his book, Healing For Damaged Emotions, says that, “Perfectionism is a counterfeit for Christian perfection…Instead of making us whole persons in Christ-perfectionism leaves us spiritual Pharisees and emotional neurotics.  Perfectionism is the most disturbing emotional problem among evangelical Christians.”

 

Excellence, on the other hand, is doing your very best at whatever God has called you to do.  Excellence, unlike perfection, gives us the freedom to fail and learn from our mistakes.  Ecclesiastes 9:10 states, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might…”  Paul echoes this thought in Colossians 3:23 when he says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men…”  What is your passion?  What are you good at?  Strive for excellence by discovering the inborn gifts, talents, and skills God has given each one of you!  (In my next blog I will teach on the seven motivational gifts found in Romans 12:6-8).      

 

“Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s the determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal…a commitment to excellence…that will enable you to attain the success you seek.”  Mario Andretti

 

 

There was something about this waitress that stood out.  She greeted us with a smile, pulled my chair out for me, promptly took our order, and doted on us throughout the meal.  She even brought us our check before we had to ask for it!  She was different, a cut above the rest, above average.  It did not matter to her that this job was nothing more than the means to attaining her goal of becoming a doctor.

 

What motivates a person to become of vessel of excellence?  Gary Smalley says that, “Real and lasting motivation is motivation that comes from within.”  Do you desire excellence in your life but believe you are not intelligent, educated, or talented enough to be above average?  Excellence is not perfection, winning, or achievement.  It is doing your very best at whatever God has called you to do, and it requires setting goals, striving for quality, and stretching yourself.

 

In July of 2002, American adventurer Steve Fossett became the first to achieve solo circumnavigation of the world in a hot air balloon.  When interviewed, a close friend of Fossett’s said this, “Steve possesses the two qualities necessary for reaching one’s goals:  persistence and determination.”  Like the persistent widow in Luke 18, are you determined not to give up on your objectives?  Hebrews 12:1 exhorts us to “…run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”  Remember, Steve Fossett had unsuccessfully attempted the global balloon flight five times (once almost costing him his life) before completing his mission.

 

Don’t set limitations to what you will do.  Author Tim Hansel states that, “One of the greatest sins a Christian can commit against God, against the Holy Spirit, and against his fellowman is the sin of unreached potential.”  So work hard, dream big, and serve your God with the excellence He deserves! 

 

 

I didn’t realize just how influential my father was until the evening before his funeral.  The numbers of people who came out to the funeral home to pay their respects overwhelmed me.  While my father had always been a hero to me, I recognized then that his influence had far greater scope.

 

Can you think of one person whose life is changed because of you?  God desires to mold you

into a vessel of influence for Him, but you must do your part.  My father didn’t have a big paying job, a lot of material belongings, or even a college degree.  But there were some qualities about my dad that stood out.  Here are three of them:

 

 

My dad had a good reputation in his community, church, workplace, and family.  He was dependable, trustworthy, fair, kind, and had a good work ethic.  Proverbs 22:1 states, “A good name is more desirable that great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.”  In other words, a good name should be sought after like some seek after money and material possessions.  A good reputation can bring many things, but it will always bring influence. 

 

 

A conviction is a strong belief.  Gary Smalley says that, “The stronger our convictions, the greater our influence on the people around us.”  My father stood up for what he believed in.  Do the people you come into contact with know what your Christian beliefs are? 

 

 

A rancher I was sitting next to on an airplane shared with me that his business partner had just embezzled hundreds of thousands of dollars from their company.  Then he said something I will never forget.  He said, “I should have known, because I knew he was cheating on his wife.”  If we are dishonest in one area, we will be dishonest in other areas.

 

What is standing in the way of your becoming a vessel of influence?  Fortunately, a person of influence doesn’t need to be wealthy, have a big salaried career, or hold a masters degree.  All one needs is the desire and the discipline to be molded into God’s chosen vessel. 

 

As we drove together down a busy street in my hometown, my mom pointed to a house and excitedly announced, “That’s where my good friend from church lives!  Ohhh…I wish I could remember her name!”  We both looked at each other and laughed out loud at the evident contradiction of her statement.  Yet, for many women, referring to mere acquaintances as friends is typical.  Let me ask you a few questions: Do you know at least one woman you can call anytime, day or night, during times of difficulty?  Do you know at least two women you can really be yourself with?  Are there women in your life you have fun with on a regular basis? 

 

One of the most common complaints I hear among women, especially pastors’ wives and those in leadership, is that they do not have any friends.  There are several reasons for this.  Some of us, especially those involved in ministry, want others to believe we have it all together all of the time, and true friendship necessitates discarding our masks.  Maybe a friend you thought you could trust may have betrayed your confidence.  Perhaps you are just too busy to commit the time needed to cultivate deep and lasting friendships.  Whatever be the case for the absence of true friends in your life, Jesus himself demonstrated their importance by the relationships He enjoyed with His disciples, “I no longer call you servants…Instead, I have called you friends…” (John 15:15).

 

There is always an element of risk involved when seeking out a friendship, but I would like to encourage you to find two or three ladies in your church or neighborhood that you would like to get close to.  In so doing, you will need to be up to the following three challenges: 

 

Dare To Get Close:  Building Intimate FriendshipsDare To Get Close:  Building Intimate Friendships.

 

1.  Dare to be transparent

To be transparent means that you are open and honest.  Dr. Alan McGinnis, author of The Friendship Factor, explains:  “People with deep and lasting friendships may be introverts, extroverts, young, old, dull, intelligent, homely, good-looking; but the one characteristic they always have in common is openness.  They have a certain transparency, allowing people to see what is in their hearts.”  Obviously, this requires you choose your friends wisely.  Proverbs 18:24 warns, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”  Jesus again sets the example by having only three disciples as His most trusted, intimate friends.

 

2.  Dare to be accepting. 

 

There will be times when you and your friend disagree.  When your friend is in a bad mood, she will probably not be very good company.  She may even, on occasion, hurt your feelings or make you angry.  Accepting your friend is loving her for who she is without judging her, without criticizing her, and without trying to change her.  It means forgiving her when she has wronged you, and giving her the freedom to fail. 

 

3.  Dare to lose.

 

Different circumstances can cause us to lose a friend.  Although moving to another state doesn’t have to terminate a friendship, it most certainly changes the dynamics of the relationship. As a former army wife, I used to subconsciously keep others at a distance because I wanted to avoid the pain of saying good-bye to friends I knew I might never see again.  Often, situations in our life (marriage, having a baby, career change, etc.) lead us down different paths and we find we no longer have much in common.  Sometimes, it is the cruel snare of death that takes a beloved friend from us.  But Tennyson’s classic words upon the death of his friend still ring true, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

 

Do you have the courage to get close to someone?  I challenge you to cultivate rewarding friendships in your life.  Go ahead…I dare you!